I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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