i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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