Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
