what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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