so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
So much rum. So many feels.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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