I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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