You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
