I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Randomize
