I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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