i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Pi�atas plus fireworks don't mix well
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
