i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
