I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
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