Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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