If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
