Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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