Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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