Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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