Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
My bed is full of blood and feathers
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
