my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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