3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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