So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
