i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
