your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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