i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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