I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
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