yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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