shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
