he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
