omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
