I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
