nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
