I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
false alarm. still invincible.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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