found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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