Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
sex in a hospital.. check
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
