I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
