I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
