I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
