I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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