um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
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