i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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