It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
