Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
