So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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