hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
