The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
