I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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