Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
