somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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