Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
