Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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